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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451948">Burying Cas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/drive/pseuds/drive'>drive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(well it was compliant when i wrote it anyway), 12x23 coda, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Coda, Dean Winchester-centric, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, POV Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:27:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/drive/pseuds/drive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been saved by Cas countless times, and the first was from the grave. He will return the favour.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Burying Cas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a coda to 12x23 - all along the watchtower</p>
<p>i wrote this while i was in the process of grieving for cas after 12x23, saved it in my tumblr drafts and then posted it after a few months. now i'm grieving cas again, so i figured i should cross-post it here. (with a few very minor edits.)</p>
<p>
  <a href="https://sodainabottle.tumblr.com/post/165811038330">tumblr original</a>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean decides to bury Cas’s body in his grave from long ago—the one where Sam buried him when his soul went to hell.</p>
<p>He doesn’t really know why he does it; Dean, of all people, knows that you have to burn the body. But he’s watched too many of his loved ones burn: his dad, Bobby, Kevin, Charlie. And that’s kind of how this all started anyway, right? With his mom on the ceiling?</p>
<p>(Deep down, he thinks that it might be because he already watched the grace burn out of Cas’s eyes.)</p>
<p>Sam comes with him, and every now and again he gives Dean a look. He ignores it.</p>
<p>About halfway through digging Sam asks if they should get a casket. He ignores it. Cas would not have wanted a casket. Cas would probably like the idea of becoming part of the soil or some stupid shit like that.</p>
<p>Dean, attempting to distract himself, wonders if Jimmy Novak is able to watch this from heaven.</p>
<p>It’s late at night when they finish digging and Sam decides to take a nap. He tells Dean they should continue tomorrow, then sits shotgun in the Impala and falls asleep. Dean knows that Sam is also trying to distract himself but he doesn’t know how Sam can sleep in the car when Cas’s body is in the backseat, smelling like blood and sweat and dirt. He must be exhausted.</p>
<p>What he does know is that he won’t be sleeping tonight, so he waits for a while before getting up and heading to the car. Gingerly, he opens one of the back doors and carries Cas’s lifeless body in his arms, slowly closing the door with his hip. He tries not to think about how cold Cas feels in his hands, how stiff the joints are getting.</p>
<p>It’s difficult to get Cas down to the actual grave and he struggles for quite some time. Once he finishes, he just sits down there with Cas, thinking of what to say. He wants to say goodbye, but at the same time, that’s the very last thing he wants to say. So Dean just stays there, in a hole in the ground, for countless hours.</p>
<p>As the sun rises, he hears Sam shout for him. He ignores it. Sam finds him anyway, only a few seconds later, and when he sees Dean, he opens his mouth to say something but seems to decide against it. Instead he holds out a hand to help Dean up.</p>
<p>Dean looks at the hand and then back at Cas. He sighs, almost frustrated that he still can’t reply to those three short words that Cas said in that barn not too long ago. He tries so damn hard to say something, anything, but in the end, he just presses a small kiss to Cas’s forehead and turns to grab his brother’s hand.</p>
<p>Sam forces him to go and sleep in the car; he probably knows that Dean won’t be able to shovel the dirt back onto the body.</p>
<p>A few hours later, when they're on the road to the bunker, Sam finally asks. “Why there, Dean?”</p>
<p>He ignores it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cas is gone again with two more episodes left before the show ends for good and i honestly just don't know what to say anymore. well, i have a lot to say to the show writers, but i don't know what to say to myself.</p>
<p>i'd love it if you'd leave kudos/comments, they make my day!</p>
<p>
  <a href="https://sodainabottle.tumblr.com/post/165811038330">tumblr original</a>
</p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/etcastiel">stan twitter</a> | <a href="https://twitter.com/sodainabottle">writing twitter</a> | <a href="https://curiouscat.me/sodainabottle">curiouscat</a> | <a href="https://sodainabottle.tumblr.com/ask">tumblr askbox</a> if you prefer that over curiouscat :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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